Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Can Ambition Be A Bad Thing?

Ambition often has a positive association to it.

Being ambitious is a GOOD thing. In order to be something great you NEED ambition.

However, can being TOO ambitious be dangerous? Can it cause you to lose sight of reality and what's practical?

I have extremely high expectations for myself in my career. I want to be extremely successful, I want to be the best. In order to do that I need to take big risks... and I am.

I am doing this for myself and doing this for my family. I could have a mediocre comfortable life in a cushy position, or I can have an extraordinary life in a position that makes me work for every cent, or I could fail miserably and lose it all.

I chose to go for the dream of working hard and living an extraordinary life. The problem with this is that choosing to do this means taking big risks that don't have immediate pay off. Choosing to do something that will be rewarding down the line, but not right away.

The problem with this is I have a family now. I have mouths to feed, people to clothe and put a roof over. I have responsibilities. I wasn't able to take the route of being successful first and having responsibility later. I have all of it at once.

Could my ambition for greatness hurt my family? Can you still chase risky dreams when you have people who depend on you?

I have found myself asking these questions lately. Am I being selfish trying to fulfill my own dream for myself and my family, when I could easily lower my standards and not have so much at stake?

There are big and amazing rewards to be had if I am successful, however there is that chance of falling hard on my face and failing miserably.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Not to be discouraging... but...

This post is not intended to be discouraging, I am honestly interested in hearing some feedback.

I read a lot of bloggers that talk about when they admitted they had PPD/PPA and all the support they got afterwards. I have advocated for others to immediately tell their doctor, immediately reach out, and know that there is support and you can get better.

Then, I talk about PPA myself... and... silence.


So, does this mean not all moms suffering PPD/PPA aren't created equal? Is it "false advertising" to tell people to speak up with a promise of automatically having a support system?

I'm going to be honest, and it may piss some of you off, but it's the truth.

I have tried to reach out for help... nothing.

I have disclosed the paralyzing fear I feel way too often... nothing.

I have described how these fears and thoughts physically make me ill and make it almost impossibly to sleep... nothing.

I have talked about my lack of sleep due to the constant worry, rapidly beating heart, and nervousness... nothing.

Do I blame anyone for this? No. But, and this is for the apparent small percentage of people who thought they could get help/support/understanding they needed but didn't) It's OK to feel pissed off/furious

There isn't always going to be a huge support system that comes to you with open arms. Sometimes you have to be accountable for yourself and suck it up.

Sometimes, you have to do it on you own.

The good news? You CAN do it alone, is it ideal? No, but it can be done. It may not be easy, it may be lonely, but keep your eye on the prize, STAY STRONG and you'll come out on top feeling proud of yourself for getting through it.

Have you had to be your own personal motivator? How did you help yourself get better?